Good life

Oct. 8th, 2016 11:16 am
lucymorningstar: (Harry)
It's not something you often see people saying online but things are really good right. I'm really content, really happy and yeah, things are good.

My health is about as stable as it gets - good combination of medication and therapy and my support group.

S is home from her research position in Manchester. She's still flying high from it but she's also really enjoying being back to teaching. She loves doing both and J and I love seeing her so happy and energised. She has this... glow, this aura around her and it's infectious. I hope it's inspiring her students to see how excited someone can get.

We spent a few weeks reconnecting as a family, just enjoying spending time together - doing stuff and... not doing stuff and simply being together. We really do work in sync so much better when the three of us are togther - it just... works. We're definitely all happier.

Now, things are back to normal and the usual routines are back in place and everything is just wonderful :)
lucymorningstar: (Lucifer Beach Wings)
I do not like sleeping alone. We have this lovely huge bed but last night it seemed some vast expanse of emptiness. I kept rolling over and there was no-one pressed up against me, no-one to cuddle up to. It took me ages over the last couple of weeks to get used to mostly just having J in the bed so being on my own last night was horrible. And there's still two more nights of it.

Monday will come soon enough though and I will have my bed back the way I like it, even if it's only for one night before S is back to Manchester.

I should be grateful though.
We have a comfortable enough life that S is able to just whisk J away for their anniversary.
We have this huge, comfortable bed.
And I have the two best people in the world to share it with.
I have family who understand that it's not necessarily safe for me to be left alone for too long - and who don't mind 'babysitting' me for the weekend.
I'm spending quality time with my little sister enjoying some fun movies and tv shows, and sampling some of the best delivery service the town provides.

Life is good. I shouldn't complain - but I do miss J&S something fierce!
lucymorningstar: (#teamsteve)
I've had a quick phonecall from S to let me know her and J arrived safely in New York so that's one less thing to worry about.

My little sister Polly has come to stay with me for the weekend and we're just having a pause in the middle of having an MCU marathon. The plan is to watch as many of the tv shows/movies in internal chronological order, because we are complete geeks. It was her idea but I have no complaints about it. I know we won't get the whole thing done in one weekend but at least we have plans for... quite a few weekends over the rest of the year haha.

So far today we've watched Captain America: The First Avenger and the first three episodes of Agent Carter. We're taking a quick break, ordering in some takeout, refreshing drinks, doing some stretches before we dive back in with the rest of the show.

I do love me some Peggy Carter. That Hayley Atwell is one fine looking lady.
I'd love to know how they make Chris Evans look so scrawny in Captain America. That man is many things but puny he is not! He is also one fine looking man!
lucymorningstar: (B&W Mac)
Happy 12th wedding anniversary to my J&S. ♥
And they're still so completely in love, you should see the way they look at each other!

She came back from Manchester late last night to surprise J and she's whisking him away to New York for the weekend to celebrate which gives me chnce to prep for my surprise when they come home. 12th anniversary is traditionally silk so I've got them (ok, us LOL) some gorgeous new silk sheets :D
lucymorningstar: (Sunbeam)
Today was... interesting to say the least.

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday, and he decided that he and my mum were going to come on a trip to visit '[me] and J'. He's just turned 70 and I think he's becoming more aware of his mortality because recently one of his friends died and he's had a bit of an epiphany that he cant keep putting things off. One of the things he's always wanted to do is go to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch which is only about 5 minutes from us. So he decided they'd come and stay with us for a few days.

Of course, they didn't know about S, only me and J (which my mum had issues with as it was) and we couldn't exactly kick her out the house for the weekend so it was decided that we'd tell them the truth about the three of us when they got here this afternoon.

It wasnt easy. It took a little bit of explaining for them to understand. Mum was very shocked but did say that explained why J & I weren't getting married, and that she's looking forward to getting to know S. Dad basically said he knew there'd been something we hadn't been telling him, that it would take time for them to come to terms with - but they didn't leave so I'm guessing that's something.

So right now my parents have gone to bed. J&S are in the living room and I'm hiding away in my little desk area. I've just put together my bullet journal spread for this week and now I'm watching some videos on youtube and I'm thinking I won't be long to bed.

Tomorrow is a day out with my parents going to Llanfair, maybe S will be coming too. Who knows what the day will bring. But I think it's going to be interesting again
lucymorningstar: (Harry)
Following on from my declaration the other day that I have the best boyfriend ever, it is also very much worth mentioning that my S is the best girlfriend ever.

She turned around yesterday and apologised, said she thought she'd been a bit harsh with punishing me for losing my phone and had a present for me. She got me a personal planner. Not an expensive filofax one but one she said she saw and thought of me look how awesome it is )

I've bought some WO2P inserts from SewMuchCrafting and some planner sticker kits from Thumbprints co (and that link will get you 10% off)

S also got me some stickers )
lucymorningstar: (B&W Mac)
This time a topic I've thought long and hard about how to answer. My answer itself is very simple but it's the wording of it. I've also gone and learned how to do an post-cut thing so as to hide things from people who, for various reasons, wouldn't feel comfortable reading about it. The last thing I want is to accidentally trigger someone.

A time I thought about ending my own life )
lucymorningstar: (John)
Good afternoon!

It's a lovely warm day here in North Wales, and I'm enjoying a spot of sun in my garden. I have a cat stretched out on my lap, J is doing some gardening (strange man, actually enjoys it) and S is doing one of her Sudoku puzzles (strange woman, actually enjoys them)

I feel like I might be starting to fight my way out of the darkness. I can still feel it pulling on my ankles but I'm mostly reaching for the surface. Afternoons like this help. I also managed to conquer my inbox and finish my to-do list. It's a pretty big list but a lot of it is a list of ebay shops that I'd like to check out and some money off codes and stuff.

The ebay shops are all for planning stickers. Have I mentioned recently my love for planners and organisers and the bullet journal system? My Leuchttrum dotgrid journal came in the mail this week but I don't want to use it yet until I'm completely happy with how I'm doing it. I'm just using a cheap grid notebook with a faux leather cover. I'm mostly happy with my collections, my monthly/weekly/daily spreads but it's mostly just refining them. I've also been watching a metric ton of planwithme videos on youtube and strangely I find them incredibly relaxing and calming, but it's also made me want to do that style of planning with the kits and so I kind of ordered myself a MAMBI Happy Planner but it's on back-order.
When I actually set up properly, I'll totally take pictures and stuff and share how I'm using it. I'm not creative or artistic and I have crap handwriting so mine don't look anywhere near as awesome as some of the ones I see but I'm trying really hard not to compare myself. I should be proud of what I'm creating!

I've started making a draft of the post about discipline vs punishment and I'm hoping to get that posted later this evening. Although J is talking about firing up the barbecue if the weather stays this could so that's always fun too!
lucymorningstar: (Sunbeam)
Right, lets see if I can get back to that 30 day meme I meant to carry on posting... hah because that started off SO well, right?

Day 2 asks Where you'd like to be in 10 years.
I would be perfectly happy to still be exactly where I am, how utterly boring is that? I've just found a place - physically, emotionally and mentally - that's really good, that's REALLY good and it works. I'm happy and I want to stay here forever, if such a concept even exists.

Living here in North Wales with J&S. J will be retired, S will probaby have taken early retirement.
We may have a place somewhere warmer for the Winter - Spain or Italy - because J will be older and crankier with worse knees and back. God I'll be nearly 50 which is twice as long as I ever thought I'd live. I would love to be even more in control of my mental health issues, be better at identifying and managing what triggers me.

We definitely won't have any children - it's not something S or I want. Maybe C will have given J some grandchildren for him to spoil?
If I had my way, we'd have more animals.
S would have found the land to have a horse or a couple of horses. She loves to ride and doesn't get to do it too often which frustrates her.
J would love for us to travel more.

And just imagine if a relationship like ours was officially recognised and the three of us could be legally married

30 Day Meme

May. 3rd, 2016 10:50 pm
lucymorningstar: (Black Widow)
I found one of those 30 Day Memes that I was eager to try and I'd planned on starting it on Sunday but it's been a pretty insanely busy couple of days and I've been a little... y'know... tied up. I don't suppose there are any rules about starting it today instead though, and having it run 30 days from now instead?

It looks like this ) and so moving swiftly on to Day 1.
My current relationship

I have two wonderful partners, J&S - you may have heard me mention them before. J is a 63 year old guy, S is a 47 year old woman. We've been together for 6 years and living together for 5. THEY have been together for 18 years, married for 11. None of us knew we were polyamorous or planned to have this kind of relationship... it sort of just happened.

I met J in a BDSM club. He is a switch but was needing to Dom (S is also a Dom) and he was there not only with S's knowledge, but she was watching him. I knew he was either married or recently separated - he had a tanline on his ring finger. We played a couple of times, had a little bit of a fling really. After a couple of sessions, he turned around and told me his wife wanted to join in, was I interested? We all met, we had some drinks and then we played. A couple of times. We started all doing other things together, not just playing and... and somehow it sort of just... built from there. And the three of us are... the three of us.

There is no lying, there is no cheating. There is no sleeping around. It really pisses me off, and it really hurts, when people assume that I'm in some kind of open relationship and just fuck whoever I want, whenever I want. That J and/or S are doing the same.
There is no-one else for any of us. We are in a fully commited long-term relationship. It just happens that there's three of us, rather than the more socially acceptable two.

Home Again

Apr. 27th, 2016 10:20 pm
lucymorningstar: (Lucifer Beach Wings)
The funeral was... well, it was a funeral. It was heartbreaking and poignant and is there anything worse than seeing one of the people you love the most cry and knowing there's nothing you can do? I don't think I've ever seen J cry and I don't ever want to again.
(I will, however, take a moment to note that man looks amazing in a suit. As does S. It felt weird thinking that in the situation but it still crossed my mind)

J... I don't know if 'came out' is the proper term for it but J's family know now that J is in a relationship with me as well as S, that the three of us are together. There was a lot of disapproving and I think it's broken some already tenuous relationships but he seemed a lot happier for having the truth out.
There isn't really a word for how it made me feel. That he did something so hard, that he did something knowing it could mean losing some of his actual family because he wanted to properly acknowledge me, us, all of us, at such a time. His mum hated S, hated that J left his first wife - although he never abandoned his son. 18 years J & S have been together and his mum never accepted it.

This evening has been a weird one. I've been having hallucinations and zoning out quite badly, really struggling to focus on what voices are real. Logically I know it's the stress of the last few days, that it'll take a few days once everything has settled down for everything to get back to normal. To a new kind of normal, in some ways. Everything's changed for J and he'll need to get used to that and all me and S can do is be there for him.

I think maybe it's a good time to go crawl into bed and just hold him, be with him.
lucymorningstar: (Black Widow)
I had a phonecall from J just now. Him and S are missing me just as much as I'm missing them and he wants me to go there, to be with them. To attend the funeral. And he's not going to hide that I'm with them. I know how hard that was for him, I know how hard it's going to be - for him, for S, for me. Mostly, I'm just glad I'm going to be there to be able to support him. I'm not entirely sure what the fallout will be but the fact he's willing to take that risk? <3

Apparently it will take 3 hours to get there on the train and 3 changes too. Honestly, that's not something I think I could do and I told him so. He said he didn't think so and will ask C (his son from his first marriage) to come and pick me up.

So C is on his way to come get me. It's something like a 2 hour drive each way. I need to pack. S as also sent me a little list of things she wants me to bring.

I adore C!
He's - right now - the only person from J's family who knows about the three of us. His reaction was 'go dad!' basically. He also rather likes my little sister Esme and flirts with her relentlessly. OK, my little sister... so C is 29 and my sister is 33.
lucymorningstar: (McKay)
A skype video phone sex session with S&J when they're both needing to let off steam is fun. Not near as much fun as in person but still, all sex is good sex. Directed self-bondage and orgasm play. Good times.

I've spent a lot of time on the phone/texting with S today reminding her why she's not allowed to kill or main either of her husband's brothers.

Fucking hell this house is tidy. Apparently I stress clean.

I've got my weekly spread set up for next week in my bullet journal. A two page week-at-a-glance with things to remember, important dates, blog ideas. A meal plan. A gratitude log. A goals/to-do list. It's not perfect, I've a few ideas to refine it for the next one but as a first go? I quite like it.
I've sketched out how I think my dailies are going to look but I'll know for sure on Monday if it works.

I am officially in love with my shiny new Staedtler 334 C36 Triplus Fineliners <3
I really want the stickers and stencils I've ordered to get here soon

Bryan Adams singing "If you wanna be bad, you gotta be good" makes my toes curl. I wanna be her lover - I wanna her be her slave

J's bought us tickets to see Civil War on Friday. This film is going to cause a civil war... I'm #teamcap, J's the wrong team. S is 'team I don't bloody care it's only a film will you two shut up already?'
I just hope he's in the right frame of mind to enjoy it. I hope we all are.

There was something else but I'm falling asleep. Tomorrow I want to finish cleaning the third floor play rooms and draft up a meal plan for the week, run that by S.
For now though, there wil be sleep.


Apr. 23rd, 2016 08:57 am
lucymorningstar: (Black Widow)
I ended up having a soak in the tub last night, before curling up in bed and watching a couple of episodes of Arrow. I took a sleeping pill so I was able to sleep kind of ok, although I feel fuzzy and weird this morning.

I've done an online grocery shop which will be delivered tomorrow. It felt weird not going around the store with J - a lot less fun doing it that way! Cheaper too.

I'm currently curled up in bed still, eating chocolate granola, listening to some music and writing out my to-do list for today. I want to spend some time playing around with different layouts for weekly and monthly spreads in my bullet journal.
I also want to add a links page to my website over at

I'm actually going to recommend this song. It's called My Name Is Trouble by a band called Jess & The Bandits

Um. So a couple of you asked yesterday about what J's family know about us. J's family don't know about me. He had a very strained relationship with them anyway - he's the youngest and the black sheep in many ways. They disagreed with a lot of the choices he's made - they're very, proper, I guess. They flipped when he divorced his first wife. They never approved of S. His son from his first marriage is the only person who knows (that we know of)
S's close family - her dad and brother - know. Her dad mostly just laughed and said one person would never be enough for S to worry about!
My parents only know about J - and were worried enough about the age difference. J is only one years younger than my mum! My older brother and younger sisters knows, I don't know what my older sister knows.

We all decided between us so J's family not knowing about me doesn't bother me. It's more that I want to be there for him. I love him and he's hurting and I'm feeling helpless. I know there wasn't anything I could really do even if I was there but even so!
lucymorningstar: (Harry)
I want to curl up and cry. I want to scream and yell and throw things. I want to do everything and nothing and am mostly ending up sitting here, staring into space.

J's mum passed away yesterday. Peacefully, in her sleep, at the grand age of 95. J&S have gone to be with family. Family don't know about me so I'm stuck here on my own. Which is weird. And it's Friday night which is the night we all do someting together, usually a meal and a film.

I'm feeling a little sorry for myself. Which is weird. I have no reason to be.
I feel horrible for J :( I wish I could be there for him.

I have a pounding headache and feel sick. I feel like I've forgotten to do something, but I don't know what. I'm still not sleeping right. I also hate sleeping alone.

Woe is me.
lucymorningstar: (Harry)
This morning has very much been a Monday. I didn't sleep very well again last night - I couldn't get comfortable, I was too hot/too cold, and when I did sleep I had incredibly bizarre dreams. I ended up getting out of bed and going to sleep in the guest bedroom. I didn't want to disturb J&S

I know I was half-awake around 4:30 or so and S was curling up around me. She muttered about me not being in bed then went back to sleep. I dozed until she got up, then we all had breakfast. I kind of lazed around this morning, waiting for a parcel but mostly feeling very fuzzy and groggy from lack of sleep. I fell deeep into the black of hole of Pinterest. Seriously, that site is amazing
I'm if anyone else is there

Late morning I got a text saying the parcel would be coming tomorrow, so I showered and dressed around midday. Walked into town to get some things I needed, met up with J for some lunch then came home. I've been setting up my bullet journal and watching TV.

Pretty much a wasted day but I still don't feel quite right from the lack of sleep. S has ordered takeout, and we got The Force Awakens on DVD today so I think it's going to be a nice chill evening.

I'm going to need to keep track of sleep and mood though, just in case this becomes a thing and we need to start playing with drugs and doses - which I really don't want :(
lucymorningstar: (Brand New)
I am a big fan of having a daily routine, of knowing what I'm going to be doing. I have a to-do list every day, as well as having recently started ticking off my habits/dailies/to-dos on Habitica. It helps keep me calm, knowing what I'm going to be doing. Most important, it keeps me focussed on what I'm doing, what I've done and what needs to be.
Routine, for me, is a very good thing.

Most days I get up with J&S, sometimes there's some morning play, sometimes not. Either way, I like to be up and out of bed by 9am. The rest of my days general go something like:
Eat breakfast and take morning medication
Shower, brush teeth, rinse with mouthwash, put on deoderant and get dressed.
Brush my hair and apply makeup.
Make the bed.
Do any laundry that needs doing.
Clear away any clutter - check the floors and generally tidy the house up.

The next step then depends on the day of the week:
Monday - clean the bathroom
Tuesday - dusting and polishing
Wednesday - sweeping and/or vacuuming
Friday - mopping
Sunday - change sheets and towels

After the housework is done, I try and get some fresh air and exercise. I'll either go for a walk or have a swim. I'm trying to remember to include other types of exercise. I've seen a 30 day ab challenge that I'd like to give a go in May.

Lunch is at 1pm, followed by midday medications.
The afternoon, providing all the daily chores are completed, is my time. I come online, I check my emails. I check off my completed tasks on Habitica. I post on livejournal/dreamwidth/dreamwidth, I comment to my friends lists. I catch up on the geekgirl forums, I poke around on Etsy and Tumblr and Pinterest. I watch TV.
I've spent today mostly setting up my Bullet Journal and I'll have to work out where updating this comes into my daily plan.

We have our evening meal around 6pm. We watch something together. J & I do the dishes, and we clean the kitchen up.

Then comes the studying. 10% of my current mission on Khan Academy, plus one topic in my English, Maths and Science workbooks.

After studying, if any discipline or punishment is due to either me or J, it will be dished out. it depends on the time what happens next. Some nights we'll watch a DVD, or play a game. Or play. Sometimes it'll be all of us, sometimes not. Depends on what mood we're all in, what we're all doing.

Last thing at night, I take my evening medication and brush my teeth. I try to read for 15 minutes before crawling into bed - ideally, no later than 11pm.

It's all very exciting, I know!
lucymorningstar: (Sunbeam)
Today being Thursday was my regular day with S. A lot of it is unrepeatable in polite company but lets say we enjoyed ourselves a lot, many times over. Starting with a lay in, then most of the morning in bed, then a shower. Followed by another shower and fluffy warm towels.
You can't go wrong starting the day like that, not really.

We ambled around town - mostly because I was looking for a dot grid notebook, preferably a cheap one to start off with rather than jumping in with a more expensive one. I tried sketching out pages for the bullet journal in an existing lined notepad but it didn't quite work for me. I'd seen a notepad I wanted on Amazon for about £3 but thought somewhere like Staples or Wilkinson's would have one.

They did not. Apparently nowhere in town had one. Trust me, we looked in enough places. This is a student town... how does no-one stock this item? We did however find great deals on Diet Coke, chocolate and some scrapbook ideas for S.

We got home and ended up ordering the Moleskine in blue - as well as a few more maths workbooks. I'm not looking into pens at the moment, will stick to my trust black biro while I get going. Pens are always something I can look into later if I stick to this.
I'm looking forward to them coming so I can get started! :)

Maths... definitely let me down this afternoon. I was working on simplifying fractions and got so frustrated that there were tears. A cuddle, some chocolate and I calmed down. S and I worked out that it was my struggle with multiplication tables that was causing my troubles so I wrote out a table. I was nearly finished when S leans over and asks me if I'd forgotten something.
I had... the entire six times table.

S looks at me in this combination of stern and amused and silly and ask me if I think I need disciplining. I agree that I do and I get six strikes with a leather strap. Ouch! I also have to repeat all my tables by rote - and then write out all twelve tables.
Lets just say I got them write this time!

English was much easier today. More parts of language - and adverbs. Adverbs being words that describe verbs, telling you how the action is being done. Like slowly or or neatly or wildly.
I wonder if I could encorporate some kind of English Grammar spread into my bullet journal?

This evening involved a lot of being curled up on the couch with S, me playing with her hair. We watched some Stargate on DVD, I read a bit.

And now it's time for bed!
lucymorningstar: (Coulson)
I think I mentioned before that I left school over 20 years ago with no qualifications so I thought I'd take a moment to talk about that. I know a lot of people always wonder how that happened.

I was always classified as being the class 'trouble-maker' - I had no attention span, I was easily distracted (usually by my imaginary friends - who I preferred to my schoolmates), my memory was useless, I was forgetful, I didn't listen to the teacher, I could never sit still and was always fidgeting, I was a chatterbox, I never waited my turn... as I got older it just got worse and I would react... ah... extremely to any criticism from teachers - or anyone. The oddest things would make me laugh (especially when they made other people cry), I would get very angry very easily and take it out on both myself and other people. I had severe mood swings.

I lost track of the amount of times I was sent to the head-teachers office, sent to sit in the corridor, put in detention. I was kicked out of school multiple times. It got to the point where nobody even bothered any more. Did Lucy even go to school? I stopped going. I didn't take my exams.
No-one even noticed.

Fast forward to now and I have diagnoses of schizo-affective disorder and adhd. Schizo-affective basically being schizophrenia with bipolar. And attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. My main symptoms/struggles (which do overlap both):
Disorganised thinking. Being unable to organise myself. Short attention span. Poor memory. Not being able to stick to tedious tasks. Self-harm. Depression. Mania. Hallucinations/Delusions (seems the best friend I've had since I was about 3, who has pink hair? She's not real!). Not being able to sit still. Fidgeting. Excessive talking. Not being able to wait my turn. No concept of consequences.

See the overlap there?

I'm sure if I was in school these days, it would have been picked up. I would have been treated. I may even have thrived - because I really do enjoy learning. As long as I can do it at my own speed and in my own way.

The important thing is that it has been picked up, that I am being treated - both meds and counselling - and that I have found ways of coping with my... quirks.

Which is what brings us to toady. And starting to study English and Maths. I'd like to do Science (especially Physics) too but S was right when she said to start with these as I'd need them to be able to do science.

With English, I've been using the workbooks printed by a company called CGP Books who are the UK's main publisher for education books. I am starting at the beginning with what's known as Key Stage 1 - age 5-7
In the last couple of days I've learned what nouns are. What verbs are. What adjectives are. I use them all the time but I couldn't have told you what they are.
Nouns - they're things, like Lucy or anger or pizza or Wales.
Verbs - they're doing words, like typing or fucking or learning.
Adjectives - they describe nouns, like purple or hard or sweet. They can also be used to compare things - harder, fastest, stronger, slowest.
Isn't it weird how we can use the language but not know what it's individual parts?

We've ordered the CGP KS1 books for Maths and Science too - looking forward to them coming and being able to really get on with it.

I've been using the website Khan Academy for my maths - working through their 'missions', which are great because you do a few problems so the site can work out your level and guide you through learning, practising and 'mastering' each skill.
I completed the 'Early Math' mission which was mostly counting - then adding, subtracting, measuring, time, money, and shapes.
And now I'm working through the 'Arithmetic' mission - more advance adding, subtracting, multiplication and division. And pretty damn new to me topics like negative numbers, absolute value, decimals, and fractions.

For the first time in my life, I've been able to do long division. One 20 minute video and a couple of hours practice and I'm getting them right 85% of the time. The guy does the videos with different colours so I actually had this visual and 'ohhhh' that what 'bring the number down' does.

I've been doing things today like absolute values and improper fractions. I was talking to J on his lunch break and he had NO idea what I was even talking about. S said they hadn't invented fractions yet when J was at school! ;)

One of the things we need to work out is the length of time I'm able to study for. I've been doing either 10% of a mission or practising 5 skills on Khan. And I've been doing just a double page spread in the English books - but I think I can probably manage more. Trial and error, that'll be. Just like everything else.

So far so good though. It's all fitting into my daily schedule - which I'll have to show you one of these days!
lucymorningstar: (Fluffy)
Today is Not A Good Day. Today is in fact pretty close to being a bad day. I should have seen it coming, really. I've been up for quite a while. I spent hours last night obsessing over bullet journals, bookmarking websites, writing lists and notes and ideas. I completely lost track of time, went to bed at an hour that's too late for me and didn't get enough sleep.

Today I feel low. Today my depression has me wondering why I'm bothering - even why I'm writing here. I don't even know if I'll hit post or if I'll just delete.

I've been getting so proud of myself over the last few days for the maths I'm learning on Khan Academy. Before now, I've never grasped concepts such as fractions or long division and I feel amazing for it. I wanted to post all about it and share my excitement.

I had some English study books come in the post today. Starting with the basic level stuff, key stage one - primary school. Grammar and punctuation stuff for SATS. The first page, the very first thing and it's things I never knew.
Nouns. I learned today what nouns are.

It felt wonderful!

And then... then I felt completely stupid. Wondering what the hell I'm doing. I'm getting excited over learning concepts that I should have known over 30 years ago. That primary school age children know. I should not be excited about this. I should be humiliated. No, I am humiliated... both at not knowing such basic topics and at my joy over learning them. And really, You should see what my posts look like before the spellchecker built into Opera corrects them.

S will be home in about 10 minutes, J about 30 minutes after her. I'm going to be really glad to see them. Mostly, I just need a hug.


I'm Lucy, a 30-something woman who is trying to figure out this whole 'life' thing.

I'm bisexual and poly, living in North Wales with my partners J&S. I'm a home maker, love to bake and cook, and am a huge sci-fi fan. I'm also a little obsessed with journals/planners right now.

I haved lived for so long under the shadow of a number of mental health diagnoses, letting them define me rather than just be part of me. For too long I've been "Lucy the Schizo" and I want to find out who 'Lucy' is

Welcome aboard my journey. I'm glad you're here and looking forward to getting to know you as we get to know me!

♥ Current Obsessions ♥
Aliens. Angels. Atlantis. Bullet Journals. Cryptozoology. Doctor Who. German. Lucifer. MacGyver 2016. Marvel. Maths. Mythology. Space. Star Wars. Time travel


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