lucymorningstar: (Brand New)
I think I need to speak to my doctor about my sleep again - as you can see, it's almost 1am and I'm wide awake. If current rouine is to be expected, I'll crash out around 01:45 and sleep really hard until about 5:30. And then spend most of the day feeling very groggy and tired and lethargic. It's been about a week now and I'm unhappy about it. Possibly an adjustment in dosage of something or other.

I've taken to sleeping in what gets designated as "my" room - second largest of the bedrooms and with staircase heading up to loft conversion - rather than our room. I don't want my lack of sleep disturbing J or S. Although 80% of the time, when I wake up, one of them - usually S - will be in the bed with me.

Lets see, what else is going on?

Watching NCIS earlier and it really is worth noting that Mark Harmon is a very attractive man. He's starting to look his age, but it's not detracting from his handsomeness.
Mark Weatherley, on the other hand, is not aging well. Although the older he gets, the more genius the casting of Robert Wagner as DiNozzo Snr is because WOW the resemblance is remarkable.
I've noticed that I've missed a couple of seasons of NCIS: Los Angeles and that there's an NCIS: New Orleans now as well, so I might make watching those a summer project.

Summer is always strange around here. We're hitting the time of year where the university students all go home for the summer but the tourists haven't descended yet. It's starting like a bit of a ghost town and it's quite spooky. It'll be like it another 6 weeks or so, then things will be insane in August. I like this time of year though because S basically takes these 6 weeks off. Come August, she'll be busy with organisation, prep, research, locking herself in the lab and doing stuff. But these 6 weeks, she just kicks back and enjoys her summer. J normally takes some time off too and we're talking about going away somewhere, maybe just a long weekend, maybe a week.

We need to get to see the new X Men movie.

I've found a couple of 30-day exercise challenges that I might try in June. My weight is coming down slowly and I always find healthy eating easier in the warmer weather.
So there's a 30-day ab challenge full of sit ups, crunches, leg raises and planks - and I need to work out the difference between a sit up and a crunch.
And there's a 30 day beginner fitness one full of lunges, leg raises, wall sits, squats, jumping jacks and other stuff I've never heard of so wil have to google.
I've also been looking at the beginner routine from Blogilates on Youtube.

Speaking of Youtube, I am so completely in love with watching Plan With Me videos. I may have mentioned this before. But it's basically just videos of people with their planners and sticker kits and doing their planning for the week ahead. There's something really calming and relaxing about it.
There's part of me that would love to do something like that but I am so not prepared to pay the price of that style of planner and throw in the cost of the sticker kits and it starts getting ridiculous

So I'll be sticking to my bullet journal. I've actually now bought myself a purple A5 Moleskine for doing it and some I think they're Inkmate pens. Hopefully the postman will bring them Tuesday so I can get everything set up in there before June properly starts on Wednesday. I've kept up with it for the whole of May, I've worked out what layouts and collections I like/work for me - I don't like stickers or embellishments, just nice and neat and functional. Mine isn't all artsy and creative like some of the really pretty ones you see out there but... well, why should I let that stop me doing what works for me?

I said about 30 day challenges. I might even get round to carrying on with that 30 day blog one. I thought about writing the answer to the next one in this post but it's a pretty depressing topic so I don't think I will. I'll answer that tomorrow - might need to figure out how to do one of those 'read the rest behind here' things because it's about suicide and I don't want to trigger anyone by them not scrolling/skipping past it.
lucymorningstar: (John)
Good afternoon!

It's a lovely warm day here in North Wales, and I'm enjoying a spot of sun in my garden. I have a cat stretched out on my lap, J is doing some gardening (strange man, actually enjoys it) and S is doing one of her Sudoku puzzles (strange woman, actually enjoys them)

I feel like I might be starting to fight my way out of the darkness. I can still feel it pulling on my ankles but I'm mostly reaching for the surface. Afternoons like this help. I also managed to conquer my inbox and finish my to-do list. It's a pretty big list but a lot of it is a list of ebay shops that I'd like to check out and some money off codes and stuff.

The ebay shops are all for planning stickers. Have I mentioned recently my love for planners and organisers and the bullet journal system? My Leuchttrum dotgrid journal came in the mail this week but I don't want to use it yet until I'm completely happy with how I'm doing it. I'm just using a cheap grid notebook with a faux leather cover. I'm mostly happy with my collections, my monthly/weekly/daily spreads but it's mostly just refining them. I've also been watching a metric ton of planwithme videos on youtube and strangely I find them incredibly relaxing and calming, but it's also made me want to do that style of planning with the kits and so I kind of ordered myself a MAMBI Happy Planner but it's on back-order.
When I actually set up properly, I'll totally take pictures and stuff and share how I'm using it. I'm not creative or artistic and I have crap handwriting so mine don't look anywhere near as awesome as some of the ones I see but I'm trying really hard not to compare myself. I should be proud of what I'm creating!

I've started making a draft of the post about discipline vs punishment and I'm hoping to get that posted later this evening. Although J is talking about firing up the barbecue if the weather stays this could so that's always fun too!
lucymorningstar: (McKay)
A skype video phone sex session with S&J when they're both needing to let off steam is fun. Not near as much fun as in person but still, all sex is good sex. Directed self-bondage and orgasm play. Good times.

I've spent a lot of time on the phone/texting with S today reminding her why she's not allowed to kill or main either of her husband's brothers.

Fucking hell this house is tidy. Apparently I stress clean.

I've got my weekly spread set up for next week in my bullet journal. A two page week-at-a-glance with things to remember, important dates, blog ideas. A meal plan. A gratitude log. A goals/to-do list. It's not perfect, I've a few ideas to refine it for the next one but as a first go? I quite like it.
I've sketched out how I think my dailies are going to look but I'll know for sure on Monday if it works.

I am officially in love with my shiny new Staedtler 334 C36 Triplus Fineliners <3
I really want the stickers and stencils I've ordered to get here soon

Bryan Adams singing "If you wanna be bad, you gotta be good" makes my toes curl. I wanna be her lover - I wanna her be her slave
Fuck!

J's bought us tickets to see Civil War on Friday. This film is going to cause a civil war... I'm #teamcap, J's the wrong team. S is 'team I don't bloody care it's only a film will you two shut up already?'
I just hope he's in the right frame of mind to enjoy it. I hope we all are.

There was something else but I'm falling asleep. Tomorrow I want to finish cleaning the third floor play rooms and draft up a meal plan for the week, run that by S.
For now though, there wil be sleep.

Family

Apr. 23rd, 2016 08:57 am
lucymorningstar: (Black Widow)
I ended up having a soak in the tub last night, before curling up in bed and watching a couple of episodes of Arrow. I took a sleeping pill so I was able to sleep kind of ok, although I feel fuzzy and weird this morning.

I've done an online grocery shop which will be delivered tomorrow. It felt weird not going around the store with J - a lot less fun doing it that way! Cheaper too.

I'm currently curled up in bed still, eating chocolate granola, listening to some music and writing out my to-do list for today. I want to spend some time playing around with different layouts for weekly and monthly spreads in my bullet journal.
I also want to add a links page to my website over at http://lucyshiningone.wordpress.com

I'm actually going to recommend this song. It's called My Name Is Trouble by a band called Jess & The Bandits


Um. So a couple of you asked yesterday about what J's family know about us. J's family don't know about me. He had a very strained relationship with them anyway - he's the youngest and the black sheep in many ways. They disagreed with a lot of the choices he's made - they're very, proper, I guess. They flipped when he divorced his first wife. They never approved of S. His son from his first marriage is the only person who knows (that we know of)
S's close family - her dad and brother - know. Her dad mostly just laughed and said one person would never be enough for S to worry about!
My parents only know about J - and were worried enough about the age difference. J is only one years younger than my mum! My older brother and younger sisters knows, I don't know what my older sister knows.

We all decided between us so J's family not knowing about me doesn't bother me. It's more that I want to be there for him. I love him and he's hurting and I'm feeling helpless. I know there wasn't anything I could really do even if I was there but even so!
lucymorningstar: (Brand New)
I am a big fan of having a daily routine, of knowing what I'm going to be doing. I have a to-do list every day, as well as having recently started ticking off my habits/dailies/to-dos on Habitica. It helps keep me calm, knowing what I'm going to be doing. Most important, it keeps me focussed on what I'm doing, what I've done and what needs to be.
Routine, for me, is a very good thing.

Most days I get up with J&S, sometimes there's some morning play, sometimes not. Either way, I like to be up and out of bed by 9am. The rest of my days general go something like:
Eat breakfast and take morning medication
Shower, brush teeth, rinse with mouthwash, put on deoderant and get dressed.
Brush my hair and apply makeup.
Make the bed.
Do any laundry that needs doing.
Clear away any clutter - check the floors and generally tidy the house up.

The next step then depends on the day of the week:
Monday - clean the bathroom
Tuesday - dusting and polishing
Wednesday - sweeping and/or vacuuming
Friday - mopping
Sunday - change sheets and towels

After the housework is done, I try and get some fresh air and exercise. I'll either go for a walk or have a swim. I'm trying to remember to include other types of exercise. I've seen a 30 day ab challenge that I'd like to give a go in May.

Lunch is at 1pm, followed by midday medications.
The afternoon, providing all the daily chores are completed, is my time. I come online, I check my emails. I check off my completed tasks on Habitica. I post on livejournal/dreamwidth/dreamwidth, I comment to my friends lists. I catch up on the geekgirl forums, I poke around on Etsy and Tumblr and Pinterest. I watch TV.
I've spent today mostly setting up my Bullet Journal and I'll have to work out where updating this comes into my daily plan.

We have our evening meal around 6pm. We watch something together. J & I do the dishes, and we clean the kitchen up.

Then comes the studying. 10% of my current mission on Khan Academy, plus one topic in my English, Maths and Science workbooks.

After studying, if any discipline or punishment is due to either me or J, it will be dished out. it depends on the time what happens next. Some nights we'll watch a DVD, or play a game. Or play. Sometimes it'll be all of us, sometimes not. Depends on what mood we're all in, what we're all doing.

Last thing at night, I take my evening medication and brush my teeth. I try to read for 15 minutes before crawling into bed - ideally, no later than 11pm.

It's all very exciting, I know!
lucymorningstar: (Sunbeam)
Today being Thursday was my regular day with S. A lot of it is unrepeatable in polite company but lets say we enjoyed ourselves a lot, many times over. Starting with a lay in, then most of the morning in bed, then a shower. Followed by another shower and fluffy warm towels.
You can't go wrong starting the day like that, not really.

We ambled around town - mostly because I was looking for a dot grid notebook, preferably a cheap one to start off with rather than jumping in with a more expensive one. I tried sketching out pages for the bullet journal in an existing lined notepad but it didn't quite work for me. I'd seen a notepad I wanted on Amazon for about £3 but thought somewhere like Staples or Wilkinson's would have one.

They did not. Apparently nowhere in town had one. Trust me, we looked in enough places. This is a student town... how does no-one stock this item? We did however find great deals on Diet Coke, chocolate and some scrapbook ideas for S.

We got home and ended up ordering the Moleskine in blue - as well as a few more maths workbooks. I'm not looking into pens at the moment, will stick to my trust black biro while I get going. Pens are always something I can look into later if I stick to this.
I'm looking forward to them coming so I can get started! :)

Maths... definitely let me down this afternoon. I was working on simplifying fractions and got so frustrated that there were tears. A cuddle, some chocolate and I calmed down. S and I worked out that it was my struggle with multiplication tables that was causing my troubles so I wrote out a table. I was nearly finished when S leans over and asks me if I'd forgotten something.
I had... the entire six times table.

S looks at me in this combination of stern and amused and silly and ask me if I think I need disciplining. I agree that I do and I get six strikes with a leather strap. Ouch! I also have to repeat all my tables by rote - and then write out all twelve tables.
Lets just say I got them write this time!

English was much easier today. More parts of language - and adverbs. Adverbs being words that describe verbs, telling you how the action is being done. Like slowly or or neatly or wildly.
I wonder if I could encorporate some kind of English Grammar spread into my bullet journal?

This evening involved a lot of being curled up on the couch with S, me playing with her hair. We watched some Stargate on DVD, I read a bit.

And now it's time for bed!

Croeso!

I'm Lucy, a 30-something woman who is trying to figure out this whole 'life' thing.

I'm bisexual and poly, living in North Wales with my partners J&S. I'm a home maker, love to bake and cook, and am a huge sci-fi fan. I'm also a little obsessed with journals/planners right now.

I haved lived for so long under the shadow of a number of mental health diagnoses, letting them define me rather than just be part of me. For too long I've been "Lucy the Schizo" and I want to find out who 'Lucy' is
+
Welcome aboard my journey. I'm glad you're here and looking forward to getting to know you as we get to know me!

♥ Current Obsessions ♥
Aliens. Angels. Bullet Journals. Cryptozoology. Dinosaurs. Doctor Who. Fanfiction. Knitting. Marvel. Space. Time travel. Wonder Woman.

Tags

Style Credit