lucymorningstar: (Brand New)
I've been trying to watch NCIS with J this morning but it's not be overly successful. I've been having some auditory issues, not hearing the bitch who attacks me or the kid who wants to play, more just white noise buzzing. and that makes it really difficult to concentrate on both the TV and on what J's been saying to me. J's confirmed that he can't hear it so it's most likely in my head. I'm actually hopping it's just a hallucination and not a physical problem with my ears. It's not constant though so I guess it's psychological. It's fucking annoying though!

Could it be interesting to write a post about my auditory hallucinations?

It's a shame because I've been enjoying NCIS. It's our first time watching it and we saw like 5 episodes last week. I'm starting to see why S loves these 'heres a dead body lets find out what happened to it' shows.
Gibbs. He's a bit of a bastard, isn't he? Very strange way of showing he cares and I bet he's got some big tragedy he's hiding that's stopping him from letting people in. He's also utterly gorgeous
Tony. Can we say favourite character? He's so cute and funny and yet really good at what he does and I want to do all kinds of filthy things to/with him!
Kate. I don't like her at all. She's so stuck up and I hate how she treats Tony.
Ducky. Reminds me of my dad, the way he's always got these stories and random facts about everything.
Abby. I'm not quite sure what I make of Abby. She's very unique isn't she? J says her exuberance and love reminds him of me <3

Instead of watching NCIS 1x06 I did some really geeky online things. I normally log all the TV and movies that I watch using Trakt and Letterboxd but I've been really slack at keeping up with it the last month or so. J's been listing still and I wrote most things down in my bujo so I've brought them up to date as much as I could.

Is it weird that I still refer to J as... well... J, considering I know some of you guys read his DW? (he's [personal profile] jackjanderson for anyone who doesn't know) so it's not like you don't know he's called Jack. And he uses Sam's name when he talks about her in his posts but I still refer to her as S here.
I guess I've just got used to using J&S when I write about them because I've been doing it for so long.
lucymorningstar: (B&W Mac)
(Apparently if I'm going to tell you guys that J has a blog, I should actually give you the link. He's at [personal profile] jackjanderson - he's not sure he likes his username, he's not sure he likes his layout but he's liking 'the whole blogging thing' so far)

There's something comforting about rewatching favourite movies over again. I think it's the predictability factor - there's no surprises and it's safe because you know what's going to happen. It doesn't matter if I'm having low concentration or zoney out day, I'm not going to miss anything or risk being completely confused.

And, because of the types of moves that I like, the good guys always win.

I think the movies I've seen most are Star Wars, Back To The Future, Harry Potter, Marvel, X-Men, Jurassic Park. There's probably more too but those are definitely stand out ones.

J & I were re-watching Independance Day this afternoon. I dread to think how many times I've seen it but I always love it. I always get that sense of awe when the ships come in, the 'today we celebrate our independance' speech always give me shivers and I'm always on the edge of my seat at the climax.

Even if S was teasing us about watching it for the millionth time, and clearly itching to give us her usual 'bad science' rant about it. Although she had been watching us making out for a while and was maybe a little distracted. What can I say, J and I were curled up on the couc watching it this afternoon and there may have been making out like teenagers and... other related activities ;)
lucymorningstar: (Harry)
I was thinking about New Years Resolutions and what I want to achieve, my goals for 2017.

I definitely want to continue working on my English, Maths and Science. I want to continue eating healthily and exercising. I want to retain my current mental health levels.
These are all things that have been working well for me in 2016

I heard about a website called Day Zero Project which says it's an an online community for people who love creating lists, setting challenges, and making positive changes in their lives. and it's most famous for being the home of the 101 Things In 1001 Days challenge... which is something I know I cannot commit to.

But they have a challenge called '7 Things x 2017' which is taglined as An alternative to boring New Years' resolutions. A list of seven prompts to get you thinking about what you want to achieve in 2017. And based on these prompts, I've set myself the below goals
Learn how to speak German
Start drinking more water
Stop eating when I'm not hungry
Take a vacation to somewhere new
Find happiness in the small things
Try rock climbing
Be more patient with myself

Icons

Oct. 22nd, 2016 09:58 am
lucymorningstar: (Default)
Can anyone recommend some good icon communities please? I find myself needing some new icons - TV show ones like MacGyver, or Lethal Weapon, or Lucifer

Thank you in advance!
lucymorningstar: (Harry)
... you completely forget about the existence of the internet for a couple of months, and then you come online to over 100 emails.

Guess I know what I'll be doing this weekend!
lucymorningstar: (Default)
Hi guys

I'm sorry I've not been around much the last few weeks but I kind of got grounded, as it were. Horrible punishment because I really like coming online but that's why it's punishment. It's fitting too - I lost my phone (a brand new iphone, I'd only had it 4 days!) on a day J was trying to get hold of me... he and S got really worried and so, naturally, punishment and fitting the crime.

I'm being allowed some leeway today because I've been ill all weekend and I'm still not quite right today, but I'll be back and normal service will continue next week

Hope you're all ok

Facebook

May. 15th, 2016 03:00 pm
lucymorningstar: (Lucifer Beach Wings)
I caved. I now have a Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/lucyshiningone mostly for bujo stuff but feel free to add me :)
lucymorningstar: (Black Widow)
There's only one problem with spending the best part of the late morning/early afternoon portion of today asleep. And that's the fact it's 3am and I'm wide awake. The realisation of it being 3am means I'm pressing play on the Matchbox Twenty song which I hadn't even thought of in years so there's that.

I've written something of a mini bio on my profile page but the more I try the more I realise I'm absolutely crap at writing those things - how much is enough information? How do I know if the nuggets I'm giving out are suitably interesting? It's also very possible I over-think the issue.
There's such a wide range of them I've seen out there - some people just listing adjectives and bullet points, and some people write in full on pargraphs. I can't quite decide which version I like.

In my last post, I actually used S's name. That's been edited now.
lucymorningstar: (Brand New)
I am a big fan of having a daily routine, of knowing what I'm going to be doing. I have a to-do list every day, as well as having recently started ticking off my habits/dailies/to-dos on Habitica. It helps keep me calm, knowing what I'm going to be doing. Most important, it keeps me focussed on what I'm doing, what I've done and what needs to be.
Routine, for me, is a very good thing.

Most days I get up with J&S, sometimes there's some morning play, sometimes not. Either way, I like to be up and out of bed by 9am. The rest of my days general go something like:
Eat breakfast and take morning medication
Shower, brush teeth, rinse with mouthwash, put on deoderant and get dressed.
Brush my hair and apply makeup.
Make the bed.
Do any laundry that needs doing.
Clear away any clutter - check the floors and generally tidy the house up.

The next step then depends on the day of the week:
Monday - clean the bathroom
Tuesday - dusting and polishing
Wednesday - sweeping and/or vacuuming
Friday - mopping
Sunday - change sheets and towels

After the housework is done, I try and get some fresh air and exercise. I'll either go for a walk or have a swim. I'm trying to remember to include other types of exercise. I've seen a 30 day ab challenge that I'd like to give a go in May.

Lunch is at 1pm, followed by midday medications.
The afternoon, providing all the daily chores are completed, is my time. I come online, I check my emails. I check off my completed tasks on Habitica. I post on livejournal/dreamwidth/dreamwidth, I comment to my friends lists. I catch up on the geekgirl forums, I poke around on Etsy and Tumblr and Pinterest. I watch TV.
I've spent today mostly setting up my Bullet Journal and I'll have to work out where updating this comes into my daily plan.

We have our evening meal around 6pm. We watch something together. J & I do the dishes, and we clean the kitchen up.

Then comes the studying. 10% of my current mission on Khan Academy, plus one topic in my English, Maths and Science workbooks.

After studying, if any discipline or punishment is due to either me or J, it will be dished out. it depends on the time what happens next. Some nights we'll watch a DVD, or play a game. Or play. Sometimes it'll be all of us, sometimes not. Depends on what mood we're all in, what we're all doing.

Last thing at night, I take my evening medication and brush my teeth. I try to read for 15 minutes before crawling into bed - ideally, no later than 11pm.

It's all very exciting, I know!
lucymorningstar: (Elephant)
I know I already did this once but [personal profile] tenapennydreams gave me the letter H so I'm playing again!

Something I hate: Hairy back/shoulders.
Makes me shudder and gag. Ugh
Something I love: Habitica
It's a website/app where you turn your life into an rpg, and complting your daily tasks earns your points to level up/improve your character
Somewhere I've been: Harleh
It's a coastal town about an hour from here, beautiful castle.
Somewhere I'd like to go: Heraklion
One of the largest cities in greece, capital of Crete. And Knossos - or the Palace of Minos - is nearby
A film I like: Harry Potter
lucymorningstar: (Coulson)
Things are getting back to normal around here, finally! J went back to work today. S is being incredibly stubborn and trying not to let this gastroenteritis get her down, but J was firm with her and told her to stay home, at least for today, and rest.

S and I did to to the supermarket today to get the groceries no-one got at the weekend and just that was enough to send her back to bed for a nap, so at least we know J was right. She's sort of half-working and half-resting.

I've been able to get back on with as normal as my life gets around here, which makes me feel better. Following my lists and knowing what I'm doing is always a good thing.

Speaking of lists, a couple of days ago I posted about some belated goals that I'd put together for the year, a little list that looks like:
1) Keep taking my medication regime and tracking my moods and attention etc
2) Keep using to-do lists and alarms to focus myself on my task at hand
3) Lose approximately 30lb by the end of 2016
4) Start studying my GCSEs - ideally English and Maths as well as Physics
5) Learn to type

Well, inspired by Kara @ www.bohoberry.com's very popular style bullet journal, I've decided to something a little similar myself. Breaking the big goals down into steps that make them seem less daunting.

4 BIG GOALS



  1. RETAIN CURRENT MENTAL HEALTH LEVELS

  2. LOSE 30 LB

  3. TAKE GCSES IN ENGLISH, MATHS AND SCIENCE - AT MINIMUM

  4. LEARN TO TYPE


ACTION STEPS FOR APRIL



  • RETAIN CURRENT MENTAL HEALTH LEVELS

    1. Keep taking medications


      • Fill pill older on Sunday evenings

      • Alarms set on phone when medications are due

      • Including medications on daily to-do lists and Habitica


    2. Using to-do lists and Habitica for focus

    3. Attending therapy and group sessions

    4. Weekly reward for all medications taken -need to discuss/set with J&S




  • LOSE 30LB

    1. Cut out excessive unhealthy snacks - replace chocolate/crisps with carrot sticks/rice cakes

    2. Keeping a daily food log

    3. Investigate eating programs such as Whole30

    4. Weekly weight loss reward -need to discuss/set with J&S




  • TAKE GCSES

    1. Continue daily maths missions on Khan Academy

    2. Pull together a list of revision guides, workbooks and stationery needed, along with price

    3. Discuss turning 2nd floor storage room into a small study room - price of desk, cupboards etc

    4. Weekly reward -need to discuss/set with J&S




  • LEARN TO TYPE

    1. General use of computer, familiarising myself with keyboard layout

    2. Try a couple of diffrent online 'courses' to find a good fit

    3. Weekly reward - what parameters? -need to discuss/set with J&S



Tonight, depending on how J feels, S wants us to all sit down and work on rewards. And whether or not I should be disciplined for failing in the tasks - since these are all mine, not set by them - and what the parameters etc would be.

I'm planning on starting an actual physical bullet journal too, but because we were all sick, S didn't take me to Hobbycraft at the weekend to buy supplies. Perhaps that will be my reward this weekend for doing my maths everyday?

I'm feeling quite positive about most of these. A little nervous at the idea of actually prepping to do exams, but that's quite a way ahead in the future still. I'm just trying to get used to the idea. Although hopefully if I continue to enjoy the maths the way I am with Khan, and find equally enjoyable/working methods for other subjects then I think I'll be fine!

S is quite firm that none of these interfere with my existing duties/roles as they were. I've been fitting in the Khan Academy quite easily though over the last couple of weeks, and there's been no complaints about housework so I think I'm going to succeed quite nicely! :)

Keeping a food log will begin properly next week. This week, because we've all been so ill, is going to consist of a lot of pretty bland food - the old BRAT diet: bananas, rice, applesauce, toast. Simple proteins like egg and chicken. Crackers. Then next week, paying proper attention to calories and carbs etc.

I can do this!

Gratitude

Apr. 9th, 2016 02:01 pm
lucymorningstar: (Elephant)
Today I am very grateful for technology. Specifically my laptop, the internet, the TV and the DVD player. And Marvel's Agent Carter.

Day 2 of being sick, and I am bored. Bored bored bored. I don't think I got as sick as J - I'm already feeling better than he was at this point but I'm still ill. My stomach is still cramping but not expelling. I have a headache and a temperature but nothing that some panadol won't shift. The worst is that I'm so tired and all my joints hurt.

S basically told me and J to stay in bed. Now, usually this would be a most wonderful suggestion but it's not as fun we we can't have fun! We are however continuing to watch Season 1 of Agent Carter. And I'm futzing around on the internet. Which appears to be quite dangerous as I've managed to sign up for Pinterest and Tumblr. I'm not entirely sure what I need them for but I seem to have them regardless.

I've also been learning about bullet journals which seem quite interesting. I was telling J about them and he kinda just grunted. S, on the other hand, seems to think I need a 'creative outlet' and has been nagging me about that for a while now, so there's a potential trip to Hobbycraft or somewhere when I'm feeling better to buy journalling/scrapbooking supplies.

What are you grateful for today?

Poor J!

Apr. 7th, 2016 10:59 am
lucymorningstar: (Elephant)
J is sick. He's got a bad stomach - diarrhea, vomiting, a fever - so bad that he's actually taken today off work. This is completely uncharted territory. J is never sick. I can't ever remember him taking time off work, except for when he tore his ACL and had to have recover. But this is completely unprecedented.

Sadly, he's a bit of a dying duck. When he's not dashing to the loo, he's stretched out on the couch, acting like the proverbial dying duck. He's feeling all sorry for himself. I suppose he's about as unused to this as me and S are. Mostly he's whining that he wants a cuddle.
No, sorry J. We don't know if you're contagious and neither of us want to risk it.

S is dutifully playing nursemaid. Not in a wee little kinky nurses outfit though haha. I don't have to do housework duties today but have been told to work on my maths.

You see, I've been wanting to do my GCSE physics - sci-fi has me all interested in astronomy and cosmology but I have no even basic knowledge. The postman today brought me me GSCE Physics workbook. But last night I came across a website called Khan Academy and saw they had a whole physics section and thought that I'd start working through that. But J, looking over my shoulder noticed that there was an 'early maths' section and laughed and said I should do that. I rolled my eyes and clicked on it and started the 'mission' and then J turned serious and decided that no, I have to complete the maths. S agreed, pointing out maths is important to science so now I find myself having to finish primary school maths. I really hoping I don't have to do all the maths on their but... well.. if I do, I do. Love, honour and obey and all that.

I admit I'm kind of enjoying earning badges though...

Hello!!

Mar. 31st, 2016 03:21 pm
lucymorningstar: (Lucy aka me)
Hello everyone!

It felt really wonderful to log on this morning and see that people have added me! That people want to hear what I have to say. Although it's also a little unnerving in a way. Will I live up to being interesting?

I found it strange when writing the 'about me' post that I made to friending communities that the first thing I wrote about myself were my diagnoses. Can you imagine doing that in real life? Meeting someone, shaking their hand and saying "Hi, I'm Lucy. I'm a schizophrenic with ADHD and bipolar disorder!'
They'd look at me... well I was going to say strangely but then a lot of people do that anyway so it wouldn't be much of a difference really

I suppose it's different to actually introducing yourself, though, these posts. It's more a sales pitch in a way, isn't it? And my health is a large part of what make me who I am, so it is interesting that people understand that I have them. I am very much interested in finding out who I am outside of my diagnoses. You'd think by now I'd know who I am but I've always let these labels define me, rather than just... be. For too long I've been "Lucy the Schizo" and I want to find out who "Lucy the Person" is.

And welcome aboard my journey. I'm glad you're here and looking forward to getting to know you as we get to know me!

I am sitting in the room in our house known as 'the library' - it's basically a bedroom full of books, comfortable chairs and a desk. And a CD player. I'm listening to some Mendelssohn as I type this: A Midsummer Night's Dream - Overture if you're interested. I'm also thinking I need to a) cut my nails and b) learn to type. I have no idea where keys are and this is hard work. I don't know what to do with my other 6 fingers or my thumbs!

I've been setting up various accounts online. I now have a Twitter (@lucyshiningone) and a last.fm (lists! alphabetised!). I've heard about a to-do website called Habitica which sounds interesting so I think that might be my next stopping point.

What websites do you use on a regular basis/find useful?
Where can I learn to type?!

Croeso!

I'm Lucy, a 30-something woman who is trying to figure out this whole 'life' thing.

I'm bisexual and poly, living in North Wales with my partners J&S. I'm a home maker, love to bake and cook, and am a huge sci-fi fan. I'm also a little obsessed with journals/planners right now.

I haved lived for so long under the shadow of a number of mental health diagnoses, letting them define me rather than just be part of me. For too long I've been "Lucy the Schizo" and I want to find out who 'Lucy' is
+
Welcome aboard my journey. I'm glad you're here and looking forward to getting to know you as we get to know me!

♥ Current Obsessions ♥
Aliens. Angels. Bullet Journals. Cryptozoology. Dinosaurs. Doctor Who. Fanfiction. Knitting. Marvel. Space. Time travel. Wonder Woman.

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