lucymorningstar: (Lucifer Beach Wings)
I'm still feeling really down and kind of numb. Everything is just so much effort. All I want to do is sleep and eat - although the preparation of food is far too much like hard work so it just ends up being sleeping and grazing on chocolate. I haven't quite found the energy to pull myself up yet.
I really hate derpressive slumps :(

I'm slowly reclaiming my inbox - it's down to just under 200 - and writing myself a little to-do list. So there is a plan. It's just... no being actioned yet.

  • Write penpal letter to Kara

  • Write penpal letter to Whitney

  • Have I been matched for round 33

  • Send out sticker swap

  • find book swap book and send

  • 10% off at EllieBethDesignsUK on Etsy THANKS10

  • 30% off at BohoBerryPapiere on Etsy TRIBE30

  • find postcards for Happy Iggle Snail Mail and send

  • Simple Stories Say Cheese 12"x12" Expressions Alpha Cardstock Stickers 3303

  • check out ohhellostationeryco on Etsy

  • check out microscope beauty on social media - planning comm


... this is not a complete list, but it's getting there
lucymorningstar: (Coulson)
Things are getting back to normal around here, finally! J went back to work today. S is being incredibly stubborn and trying not to let this gastroenteritis get her down, but J was firm with her and told her to stay home, at least for today, and rest.

S and I did to to the supermarket today to get the groceries no-one got at the weekend and just that was enough to send her back to bed for a nap, so at least we know J was right. She's sort of half-working and half-resting.

I've been able to get back on with as normal as my life gets around here, which makes me feel better. Following my lists and knowing what I'm doing is always a good thing.

Speaking of lists, a couple of days ago I posted about some belated goals that I'd put together for the year, a little list that looks like:
1) Keep taking my medication regime and tracking my moods and attention etc
2) Keep using to-do lists and alarms to focus myself on my task at hand
3) Lose approximately 30lb by the end of 2016
4) Start studying my GCSEs - ideally English and Maths as well as Physics
5) Learn to type

Well, inspired by Kara @ www.bohoberry.com's very popular style bullet journal, I've decided to something a little similar myself. Breaking the big goals down into steps that make them seem less daunting.

4 BIG GOALS



  1. RETAIN CURRENT MENTAL HEALTH LEVELS

  2. LOSE 30 LB

  3. TAKE GCSES IN ENGLISH, MATHS AND SCIENCE - AT MINIMUM

  4. LEARN TO TYPE


ACTION STEPS FOR APRIL



  • RETAIN CURRENT MENTAL HEALTH LEVELS

    1. Keep taking medications


      • Fill pill older on Sunday evenings

      • Alarms set on phone when medications are due

      • Including medications on daily to-do lists and Habitica


    2. Using to-do lists and Habitica for focus

    3. Attending therapy and group sessions

    4. Weekly reward for all medications taken -need to discuss/set with J&S




  • LOSE 30LB

    1. Cut out excessive unhealthy snacks - replace chocolate/crisps with carrot sticks/rice cakes

    2. Keeping a daily food log

    3. Investigate eating programs such as Whole30

    4. Weekly weight loss reward -need to discuss/set with J&S




  • TAKE GCSES

    1. Continue daily maths missions on Khan Academy

    2. Pull together a list of revision guides, workbooks and stationery needed, along with price

    3. Discuss turning 2nd floor storage room into a small study room - price of desk, cupboards etc

    4. Weekly reward -need to discuss/set with J&S




  • LEARN TO TYPE

    1. General use of computer, familiarising myself with keyboard layout

    2. Try a couple of diffrent online 'courses' to find a good fit

    3. Weekly reward - what parameters? -need to discuss/set with J&S



Tonight, depending on how J feels, S wants us to all sit down and work on rewards. And whether or not I should be disciplined for failing in the tasks - since these are all mine, not set by them - and what the parameters etc would be.

I'm planning on starting an actual physical bullet journal too, but because we were all sick, S didn't take me to Hobbycraft at the weekend to buy supplies. Perhaps that will be my reward this weekend for doing my maths everyday?

I'm feeling quite positive about most of these. A little nervous at the idea of actually prepping to do exams, but that's quite a way ahead in the future still. I'm just trying to get used to the idea. Although hopefully if I continue to enjoy the maths the way I am with Khan, and find equally enjoyable/working methods for other subjects then I think I'll be fine!

S is quite firm that none of these interfere with my existing duties/roles as they were. I've been fitting in the Khan Academy quite easily though over the last couple of weeks, and there's been no complaints about housework so I think I'm going to succeed quite nicely! :)

Keeping a food log will begin properly next week. This week, because we've all been so ill, is going to consist of a lot of pretty bland food - the old BRAT diet: bananas, rice, applesauce, toast. Simple proteins like egg and chicken. Crackers. Then next week, paying proper attention to calories and carbs etc.

I can do this!

Gratitude

Apr. 9th, 2016 02:01 pm
lucymorningstar: (Elephant)
Today I am very grateful for technology. Specifically my laptop, the internet, the TV and the DVD player. And Marvel's Agent Carter.

Day 2 of being sick, and I am bored. Bored bored bored. I don't think I got as sick as J - I'm already feeling better than he was at this point but I'm still ill. My stomach is still cramping but not expelling. I have a headache and a temperature but nothing that some panadol won't shift. The worst is that I'm so tired and all my joints hurt.

S basically told me and J to stay in bed. Now, usually this would be a most wonderful suggestion but it's not as fun we we can't have fun! We are however continuing to watch Season 1 of Agent Carter. And I'm futzing around on the internet. Which appears to be quite dangerous as I've managed to sign up for Pinterest and Tumblr. I'm not entirely sure what I need them for but I seem to have them regardless.

I've also been learning about bullet journals which seem quite interesting. I was telling J about them and he kinda just grunted. S, on the other hand, seems to think I need a 'creative outlet' and has been nagging me about that for a while now, so there's a potential trip to Hobbycraft or somewhere when I'm feeling better to buy journalling/scrapbooking supplies.

What are you grateful for today?
lucymorningstar: (Brand New)
Saturdays have always been me and J's day together. (Thursday is my day with S, she has no classes that day). We started off going grocery shopping, probably my least favourite chore and I could never do it alone. It stresses me out and is the time my psychosis is likely to trigger, and I struggle telling what's real and what isn't. I've been known to walk around talking to imaginary people and thinking I'm picking up one thing when it's completely different.

Although going around a supermaket with J is somewhat akin to going with a child "That's not on the list, J", or "S won't be happy if you bring that home." But he has fun and he has the cutest smile, still makes me weak to the knees.

We came home with just enough extras to make S roll her eyes and swat J on the ass heh. Not me, since I'm his responsibility when we're alone. But we did manage to bring home everything that was on the list. Why she doesn't just do it herself when she's so particular about it, I don't know!
Probably because she'd kill J in the middle of an aisle or something ;)

J, old man that he is, decided he needed an afternoon nap. He also decided that he needed me to nap with him. Safe to say there was a lot more kissing and cuddling and fucking than there was actual napping, but laying half asleep and thoroughly orgasmic in his arms is definitely a favourite place to be. Even if S busted us eating chocolate. I mentioned yesterday that S told me I was going on a diet. Well, J and I managed to bring home half the store's worth of half-price Easter chocolate. And part of the cuddling involved an Easter egg being eaten. She just stood there, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and trying to decide if she was annoyed or amused.

I'm not the only one who's being denied tasty treats now. J is sulking. It's cute. Ever seen a 63 year old guy sulking because his chocolate was taken away from him?
At least he won't get enforced exercise because of his age and the fact he has bad knees! S is a big believer in punishment fitting the crime.

Although, while we were 'napping', S has installed a bunch of updates on my laptop and set it up to work with the printer through the wireless network. She's a bit of a computer nerd is my S! Which is a good job since I'm pretty clueless and J is probably more likely to throw it out of the window!

I've found a promising looking typing teaching website so I'll be looking at that tomorrow. See if I can get more than just my index fingers in on the action. I have no idea how long it's supposed to take to learn though, but there's 15 lessons, so probably a couple of weeks.

Other than that, it's been a pretty standard Saturday around here. Sheets and bedding changed, laundered and put away. Everywhere's clean and tidy and it's time for our usual weekend family movie night. S is being evil and making herself some popcorn in the microwave, and I know me and J won't be allowed any. It looks like J's choosing Rock Of Ages so that should be fun.

Hope you're all having a good Saturday xxx

Hello!!

Mar. 31st, 2016 03:21 pm
lucymorningstar: (Lucy aka me)
Hello everyone!

It felt really wonderful to log on this morning and see that people have added me! That people want to hear what I have to say. Although it's also a little unnerving in a way. Will I live up to being interesting?

I found it strange when writing the 'about me' post that I made to friending communities that the first thing I wrote about myself were my diagnoses. Can you imagine doing that in real life? Meeting someone, shaking their hand and saying "Hi, I'm Lucy. I'm a schizophrenic with ADHD and bipolar disorder!'
They'd look at me... well I was going to say strangely but then a lot of people do that anyway so it wouldn't be much of a difference really

I suppose it's different to actually introducing yourself, though, these posts. It's more a sales pitch in a way, isn't it? And my health is a large part of what make me who I am, so it is interesting that people understand that I have them. I am very much interested in finding out who I am outside of my diagnoses. You'd think by now I'd know who I am but I've always let these labels define me, rather than just... be. For too long I've been "Lucy the Schizo" and I want to find out who "Lucy the Person" is.

And welcome aboard my journey. I'm glad you're here and looking forward to getting to know you as we get to know me!

I am sitting in the room in our house known as 'the library' - it's basically a bedroom full of books, comfortable chairs and a desk. And a CD player. I'm listening to some Mendelssohn as I type this: A Midsummer Night's Dream - Overture if you're interested. I'm also thinking I need to a) cut my nails and b) learn to type. I have no idea where keys are and this is hard work. I don't know what to do with my other 6 fingers or my thumbs!

I've been setting up various accounts online. I now have a Twitter (@lucyshiningone) and a last.fm (lists! alphabetised!). I've heard about a to-do website called Habitica which sounds interesting so I think that might be my next stopping point.

What websites do you use on a regular basis/find useful?
Where can I learn to type?!

Croeso!

I'm Lucy, a 30-something woman who is trying to figure out this whole 'life' thing.

I'm bisexual and poly, living in North Wales with my partners J&S. I'm a home maker, love to bake and cook, and am a huge sci-fi fan. I'm also a little obsessed with journals/planners right now.

I haved lived for so long under the shadow of a number of mental health diagnoses, letting them define me rather than just be part of me. For too long I've been "Lucy the Schizo" and I want to find out who 'Lucy' is

Welcome aboard my journey. I'm glad you're here and looking forward to getting to know you as we get to know me!

♥ Current Obsessions ♥
Aliens. Angels. Atlantis. Bullet Journals. Cryptozoology. Doctor Who. German. Lucifer. MacGyver 2016. Marvel. Maths. Mythology. Space. Star Wars. Time travel

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