lucymorningstar: (Black Widow)
My J really made me smile this. And it was just a simple thing, he told me I looked really sexy in what I was wearing.

I was in the kitchen and he came up behind me, arm around my waist, nuzzled my waist and told me how good I looked. I wasn't even wearing anything special - black skinny jeans, a blue pinstripe shirt and a navy v-neck jumper. I was fresh out the shower, my hair still damp...

But it made me feel good, being told I looked sexy. It put a smile on my face and I've had a spring in my step all day. It's still making me smile now even 10 hours later
lucymorningstar: (Blue)
Someone on a different social media site asked me the other day 'how does your relationship work' and I was completely stumped. How do you answer that question? My reply at the time was a smart-ass 'same as any two-person monogamous relationship, just that there's three of us'

But I've been thinking about that question a lot and how to answer it.

The number one thing? Love. Between all of us, all three of us and all three two-somes. J&S have their night on a Tuesday when I'm at support group meet, I spent Thursdays with S when she's not teaching and Saturday has always been me and J's time together. We have a weekly date night on a Friday when we all go out - usually a meal and a movie and Sunday afternoons is always family time.

Honesty - and communication. Kind of obvious, I would have thought. But it goes without saying, there's no lies between us, no secrets. No saying "It's fine" or "I'm OK" when that's not the truth. We talk everything out. Cliche as it may be, never go to bed on an argument or angry.
And arguments do happen, sometimes big and sometimes small. We're all only people after all.

No intentional comparison of the past or talking about Ex's unless we have to. J's ex-wife is still on the peripheral of our lives through their son, and C is part of our lives so yes, his mum gets brought up in conversation. And yes, S gets jealous at times but she doesn't lie about it - J and his ex shared something that J&S don't. Again it's down to honesty and communication and considering other peoples feelings.

There's a very important word. Sorry. And meaning it when you say it. And saying it when you mean it.

We're all very affectionate. And, really, is there anything better than being cuddled up with two pretty damn hot people? Kisses and cuddles and sex are definitely still part of our lives.

Now, if we're talking about how the... other part of our relationship works - that's a whole lot simpler. S is Dominant, J's a switch (probably about 70% sub/30% Dom) and I'm a sub. Most of the time, we're both submitting to S... sometimes I'm submitting to J too - sometimes just J. We have our likes and dislikes and they all mostly gel nicely together. We've been doing this long enough after all heh
We don't just have kinky sex though - regular vanilla sex is just as much fun.

There's more to it than just that but that's kind of the basics of it. Surely the same can be said for most healthy relationships?
lucymorningstar: (Lucifer Beach Wings)
I do not like sleeping alone. We have this lovely huge bed but last night it seemed some vast expanse of emptiness. I kept rolling over and there was no-one pressed up against me, no-one to cuddle up to. It took me ages over the last couple of weeks to get used to mostly just having J in the bed so being on my own last night was horrible. And there's still two more nights of it.

Monday will come soon enough though and I will have my bed back the way I like it, even if it's only for one night before S is back to Manchester.

I should be grateful though.
We have a comfortable enough life that S is able to just whisk J away for their anniversary.
We have this huge, comfortable bed.
And I have the two best people in the world to share it with.
I have family who understand that it's not necessarily safe for me to be left alone for too long - and who don't mind 'babysitting' me for the weekend.
I'm spending quality time with my little sister enjoying some fun movies and tv shows, and sampling some of the best delivery service the town provides.

Life is good. I shouldn't complain - but I do miss J&S something fierce!
lucymorningstar: (B&W Mac)
Happy 12th wedding anniversary to my J&S. ♥
And they're still so completely in love, you should see the way they look at each other!

She came back from Manchester late last night to surprise J and she's whisking him away to New York for the weekend to celebrate which gives me chnce to prep for my surprise when they come home. 12th anniversary is traditionally silk so I've got them (ok, us LOL) some gorgeous new silk sheets :D
lucymorningstar: (Harry)
Following on from my declaration the other day that I have the best boyfriend ever, it is also very much worth mentioning that my S is the best girlfriend ever.

She turned around yesterday and apologised, said she thought she'd been a bit harsh with punishing me for losing my phone and had a present for me. She got me a personal planner. Not an expensive filofax one but one she said she saw and thought of me look how awesome it is )

I've bought some WO2P inserts from SewMuchCrafting and some planner sticker kits from Thumbprints co (and that link will get you 10% off)

S also got me some stickers )
lucymorningstar: (Lucifer Beach Wings)
I have the best boyfriend* ever!

J popped home on his lunchbreak today - he'd bought me a papercraft magazine he'd seen, and because it came with some stamps, he also got me an acrylic block and a couple of ink pads. Add that to the watercolour paints and brushes that I ordered came today and I'm looking forward to seeing what I come up with. I'm not particularly artistic or creative but I think it'll be fun to play.

Healthwise I'm starting to feel better. My fever has dropped and I'm keeping down dry toast and water. I'm mostly just completely exhausted. Curled up on the couch with my S watching cheesy sci-fi DVDs, although I keep falling asleep. Oops.

*Although somehow calling J my 'boyfriend' makes me feel like we're teenagers. I don't like 'other half' or 'partner'... I really need to find a better term, although 'My J' is how I think of him.
lucymorningstar: (Sunbeam)
Right, lets see if I can get back to that 30 day meme I meant to carry on posting... hah because that started off SO well, right?

Day 2 asks Where you'd like to be in 10 years.
I would be perfectly happy to still be exactly where I am, how utterly boring is that? I've just found a place - physically, emotionally and mentally - that's really good, that's REALLY good and it works. I'm happy and I want to stay here forever, if such a concept even exists.

Living here in North Wales with J&S. J will be retired, S will probaby have taken early retirement.
We may have a place somewhere warmer for the Winter - Spain or Italy - because J will be older and crankier with worse knees and back. God I'll be nearly 50 which is twice as long as I ever thought I'd live. I would love to be even more in control of my mental health issues, be better at identifying and managing what triggers me.

We definitely won't have any children - it's not something S or I want. Maybe C will have given J some grandchildren for him to spoil?
If I had my way, we'd have more animals.
S would have found the land to have a horse or a couple of horses. She loves to ride and doesn't get to do it too often which frustrates her.
J would love for us to travel more.

And just imagine if a relationship like ours was officially recognised and the three of us could be legally married

30 Day Meme

May. 3rd, 2016 10:50 pm
lucymorningstar: (Black Widow)
I found one of those 30 Day Memes that I was eager to try and I'd planned on starting it on Sunday but it's been a pretty insanely busy couple of days and I've been a little... y'know... tied up. I don't suppose there are any rules about starting it today instead though, and having it run 30 days from now instead?

It looks like this ) and so moving swiftly on to Day 1.
My current relationship

I have two wonderful partners, J&S - you may have heard me mention them before. J is a 63 year old guy, S is a 47 year old woman. We've been together for 6 years and living together for 5. THEY have been together for 18 years, married for 11. None of us knew we were polyamorous or planned to have this kind of relationship... it sort of just happened.

I met J in a BDSM club. He is a switch but was needing to Dom (S is also a Dom) and he was there not only with S's knowledge, but she was watching him. I knew he was either married or recently separated - he had a tanline on his ring finger. We played a couple of times, had a little bit of a fling really. After a couple of sessions, he turned around and told me his wife wanted to join in, was I interested? We all met, we had some drinks and then we played. A couple of times. We started all doing other things together, not just playing and... and somehow it sort of just... built from there. And the three of us are... the three of us.

There is no lying, there is no cheating. There is no sleeping around. It really pisses me off, and it really hurts, when people assume that I'm in some kind of open relationship and just fuck whoever I want, whenever I want. That J and/or S are doing the same.
There is no-one else for any of us. We are in a fully commited long-term relationship. It just happens that there's three of us, rather than the more socially acceptable two.
lucymorningstar: (McKay)
A skype video phone sex session with S&J when they're both needing to let off steam is fun. Not near as much fun as in person but still, all sex is good sex. Directed self-bondage and orgasm play. Good times.

I've spent a lot of time on the phone/texting with S today reminding her why she's not allowed to kill or main either of her husband's brothers.

Fucking hell this house is tidy. Apparently I stress clean.

I've got my weekly spread set up for next week in my bullet journal. A two page week-at-a-glance with things to remember, important dates, blog ideas. A meal plan. A gratitude log. A goals/to-do list. It's not perfect, I've a few ideas to refine it for the next one but as a first go? I quite like it.
I've sketched out how I think my dailies are going to look but I'll know for sure on Monday if it works.

I am officially in love with my shiny new Staedtler 334 C36 Triplus Fineliners <3
I really want the stickers and stencils I've ordered to get here soon

Bryan Adams singing "If you wanna be bad, you gotta be good" makes my toes curl. I wanna be her lover - I wanna her be her slave

J's bought us tickets to see Civil War on Friday. This film is going to cause a civil war... I'm #teamcap, J's the wrong team. S is 'team I don't bloody care it's only a film will you two shut up already?'
I just hope he's in the right frame of mind to enjoy it. I hope we all are.

There was something else but I'm falling asleep. Tomorrow I want to finish cleaning the third floor play rooms and draft up a meal plan for the week, run that by S.
For now though, there wil be sleep.
lucymorningstar: (Sunbeam)
Today being Thursday was my regular day with S. A lot of it is unrepeatable in polite company but lets say we enjoyed ourselves a lot, many times over. Starting with a lay in, then most of the morning in bed, then a shower. Followed by another shower and fluffy warm towels.
You can't go wrong starting the day like that, not really.

We ambled around town - mostly because I was looking for a dot grid notebook, preferably a cheap one to start off with rather than jumping in with a more expensive one. I tried sketching out pages for the bullet journal in an existing lined notepad but it didn't quite work for me. I'd seen a notepad I wanted on Amazon for about £3 but thought somewhere like Staples or Wilkinson's would have one.

They did not. Apparently nowhere in town had one. Trust me, we looked in enough places. This is a student town... how does no-one stock this item? We did however find great deals on Diet Coke, chocolate and some scrapbook ideas for S.

We got home and ended up ordering the Moleskine in blue - as well as a few more maths workbooks. I'm not looking into pens at the moment, will stick to my trust black biro while I get going. Pens are always something I can look into later if I stick to this.
I'm looking forward to them coming so I can get started! :)

Maths... definitely let me down this afternoon. I was working on simplifying fractions and got so frustrated that there were tears. A cuddle, some chocolate and I calmed down. S and I worked out that it was my struggle with multiplication tables that was causing my troubles so I wrote out a table. I was nearly finished when S leans over and asks me if I'd forgotten something.
I had... the entire six times table.

S looks at me in this combination of stern and amused and silly and ask me if I think I need disciplining. I agree that I do and I get six strikes with a leather strap. Ouch! I also have to repeat all my tables by rote - and then write out all twelve tables.
Lets just say I got them write this time!

English was much easier today. More parts of language - and adverbs. Adverbs being words that describe verbs, telling you how the action is being done. Like slowly or or neatly or wildly.
I wonder if I could encorporate some kind of English Grammar spread into my bullet journal?

This evening involved a lot of being curled up on the couch with S, me playing with her hair. We watched some Stargate on DVD, I read a bit.

And now it's time for bed!
lucymorningstar: (Brand New)
Saturdays have always been me and J's day together. (Thursday is my day with S, she has no classes that day). We started off going grocery shopping, probably my least favourite chore and I could never do it alone. It stresses me out and is the time my psychosis is likely to trigger, and I struggle telling what's real and what isn't. I've been known to walk around talking to imaginary people and thinking I'm picking up one thing when it's completely different.

Although going around a supermaket with J is somewhat akin to going with a child "That's not on the list, J", or "S won't be happy if you bring that home." But he has fun and he has the cutest smile, still makes me weak to the knees.

We came home with just enough extras to make S roll her eyes and swat J on the ass heh. Not me, since I'm his responsibility when we're alone. But we did manage to bring home everything that was on the list. Why she doesn't just do it herself when she's so particular about it, I don't know!
Probably because she'd kill J in the middle of an aisle or something ;)

J, old man that he is, decided he needed an afternoon nap. He also decided that he needed me to nap with him. Safe to say there was a lot more kissing and cuddling and fucking than there was actual napping, but laying half asleep and thoroughly orgasmic in his arms is definitely a favourite place to be. Even if S busted us eating chocolate. I mentioned yesterday that S told me I was going on a diet. Well, J and I managed to bring home half the store's worth of half-price Easter chocolate. And part of the cuddling involved an Easter egg being eaten. She just stood there, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and trying to decide if she was annoyed or amused.

I'm not the only one who's being denied tasty treats now. J is sulking. It's cute. Ever seen a 63 year old guy sulking because his chocolate was taken away from him?
At least he won't get enforced exercise because of his age and the fact he has bad knees! S is a big believer in punishment fitting the crime.

Although, while we were 'napping', S has installed a bunch of updates on my laptop and set it up to work with the printer through the wireless network. She's a bit of a computer nerd is my S! Which is a good job since I'm pretty clueless and J is probably more likely to throw it out of the window!

I've found a promising looking typing teaching website so I'll be looking at that tomorrow. See if I can get more than just my index fingers in on the action. I have no idea how long it's supposed to take to learn though, but there's 15 lessons, so probably a couple of weeks.

Other than that, it's been a pretty standard Saturday around here. Sheets and bedding changed, laundered and put away. Everywhere's clean and tidy and it's time for our usual weekend family movie night. S is being evil and making herself some popcorn in the microwave, and I know me and J won't be allowed any. It looks like J's choosing Rock Of Ages so that should be fun.

Hope you're all having a good Saturday xxx
lucymorningstar: (Pencil Circle)
After talking about J & S yesterday and because [personal profile] xxmadsenxx asked I thought it might be an idea to talk a little bit more about our dymanic.

J & S, as you probably worked out, are my partners. They are a married couple who have been together for 18 years. I've been in a relationship with them for just over 6 years and we've been all living together since 2011.

S is my female partner and very much a Dominant. She's 47 and she's a teacher
J is my male partner and he's a switch. He's 63 and is a desk jockey with the local government.
They met through mutual friends back in 1997 and married in 2005.
I'm a sub.

It works out nicely as you can tell. It's mostly only in a sexual way although one of my 'roles' is doing the housework as I don't have a job. but S is very much a caretaker personality as well which definitely helps as she enjoys taking care of me and J.
J is one of my best friends. We had a bit of a fling, then he introduced me to S and the rest, as they say, is history.

It's a little complicated but hopefully that makes a little clearer?
Let me know if you've any questions!


I'm Lucy, a 30-something woman who is trying to figure out this whole 'life' thing.

I'm bisexual and poly, living in North Wales with my partners J&S. I'm a home maker, love to bake and cook, and am a huge sci-fi fan. I'm also a little obsessed with journals/planners right now.

I haved lived for so long under the shadow of a number of mental health diagnoses, letting them define me rather than just be part of me. For too long I've been "Lucy the Schizo" and I want to find out who 'Lucy' is
Welcome aboard my journey. I'm glad you're here and looking forward to getting to know you as we get to know me!

♥ Current Obsessions ♥
Aliens. Angels. Bullet Journals. Cryptozoology. Dinosaurs. Doctor Who. Fanfiction. Knitting. Marvel. Space. Time travel. Wonder Woman.


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